This morning as I was sipping on my first cup of coffee, I started thinking about all of my writing sisters who have posted a ton, and I mean a ton of stories about men’s attitudes toward the female population.
Although I’ve read a few posts where some gentlemen were painted more positively, generally, I was exposed to the misogynistic backward thinking, and atrocious hostilities men harbor for their fellow Humans who just happen to be women.
I wince in embarrassment each time I read one.
And I shake my head in shame a lot of times, wondering how on Earth another Human could treat a fellow Human in that manner.
Men? Come one now for Christ’s sake. Learning how to treat women with respect they’ve always been due is not as hard as you were taught it was. And I just don’t mean American men. I’m talking the world over. All men, regardless of your nationality or creed, or yes, even your religion, need to step it up a notch.
Don’t hand me that crock of crap you were raised in a culture steeped in the terribly misguided belief that this is a man’s world. Hate to break it to you bucko, but it ain’t.
It’s a Human’s world and just because you’re male does not mean you can treat your fellow inhabitants like they’re not in the same league as you.
As a male, I believe I am imminently qualified to reel in you thick-headed trolls who regularly demean and trash my sisters whether or not they write here alongside me or practice any other profession.
And because I am qualified, I’m going to help you fools out by providing you five easy steps you need to take toward evolving into a REAL man. Hopefully, you’re educated enough to first read, but even more critical, comprehend these steps.
Step One — Understand That A Woman Is Not The Opposite Sex
Opposite implies an opposing gender. Just the word itself strikes up a negative connotation. Derived from the Latin word “oppenere,” which means set against, opposite becomes a demeaning little minus which supposedly cancels out the plus.
What a load of crap.
Women aren’t the opposite. This isn’t a test of wills to see who is better than who, although hundreds of thousands of men turn it into one every, single, flipping, excruciatingly painful, day. Just as men are male, women are female.
There is nothing opposite about it.
Women aren’t the opposite sex, they’re the equal sex.
Step Two — Embracing The Fact That Women Are Not Second Class Citizens
And because they ARE the equal sex you male pinheads, they should never, EVER be treated as though their place is to be sitting in the shadows, catering to your needs simply because you were born with a penis and eventually grow man-boobs instead of having breasts and a vagina.
Oh, you think your right to put yourself above a woman comes from the days when the males hunted for food, and all the “woman folk” stayed in the cave and nurtured children, right?
Hate to tell you this. No, I don’t hate to tell you this.
Back in the day way before we were even thought of, the women of the tribes often hunted alongside the men, faced the same dangers as the men, and were sometimes killed just like the men.
Somewhere along the way, some men or groups of men decided to make themselves feel good and prove their manhood to all of those around them, by placing their station above an entire host of Humans.
And the poor helpless, insignificant bevy of women became their targets.
Well, guess what dudes? Women have always been able to pull the trigger if they needed to, and you misogynistic, inbred gentlemen are now in the crosshairs of their sights.
I’ve said this before, and it’s worth repeating.
Women are willing to fight if they have to, love when they want to, and have much better stamina than most men. Guys? You try carrying a living creature inside of you as it kicks the crap out of you for about nine months and then delivering another Human into the world almost the size of a ten-pound bowling ball.
Second class citizens my a*s.
Step Three — Their Pussy Belongs To Them And You Can’t Just Grab It When You Want To
Yeah, sorry, ladies, I had to get a little crass on this step.
Keep in mind the target audience here may not understand the word objectify.
Some of you dudes just don’t get it, do you? Do you honestly think a woman wearing a slinky miniskirt and spike heels is always on the prowl for your semi-flaccid penis?
If she is, she’ll let you know, but throwing all your best pickup lines and buying her a drink doesn’t mean you’re going to get laid. All it means is that again you dumb@ss, you’re thinking with the wrong head.
There you go again, thinking that when a woman wants to feel good about herself and try out some excellent clothing combinations, she’s advertising she wants to be drooled over like a Playboy pin-up and nailed by you.
Hey, I don’t mind seeing a woman showing off her best attributes if she’s of a mind to, but I don’t see it as an invitation to try to get her into bed, or in your case, the back seat of your parent’s car because you’re still living at home.
Step Four — Learn That Women Have More Irons In The Fire Because You Put Them There
A lot of women are forced to become multitasking whirlwinds. They have to juggle work, a family, finances, and having dinner on the table for your sorry butt when you toil at your mindblowing nine to five, and then get home and start moaning about having meatloaf for the third time in one week.
They’re the ones who have to take off from their jobs when the kids get sick, or the water bill needs to be paid because you think because you’re making the lions share of the money, you are the king of the jungle.
Here’s a couple of suggestions for you meatheads.
Learn to cook for God’s sake. And no, picking up the phone and ordering pizza isn’t going to cut it. If you can read (I certainly hope you can otherwise this entire piece has been wasted on you), try following the directions in a recipe and whip something up for the whole family.
Figure out how to wash clothes and then do it. Consistently. Not just once on your partner’s birthday. Get into a habit of helping around the house all the time.
Oh, and here’s a hint about that washing thing. Don’t mix multi-colored shirts with white T shirts, especially if you’re washing with hot water.
Try becoming a real father to your children and loving them and take your share of the responsibilities of caring for them. You’re not some papal deity whose only job is to sit there in your cushioned comfortable chair and allow the family to genuflect and kiss your ring.
Grab some of those irons out of the fire living life has created and do something productive for a change.
Oh my God yes, I mean you have to do woman’s work.
Suck it up buttercup. The more you pitch in the quicker you’ll come to realize chores around the house aren’t gender specific.
Unless you have four female children and you’re the only male in the house. If that’s the case, you probably don’t even need these suggestions because you’ve probably already achieved the vaulted status of being Woke.
Step Five — Learn To Love Them As Much As They Do You
Lastly, this step is probably going to be the hardest for some of you members of the Woman Haters Club.
Learn to respect a woman’s emotions, and if you really love them, should you even know what that is, don’t just tell them you love them, show them you love them.
Figure out a way to get the blood collecting in that not so private part between your legs to flow into that pea-sized brain of yours.
Start letting them know how you feel about them as an equal participant in being Human. Not just your pleasure palace on Saturday night and twice on Sunday.
Yes, get emotional. Not screaming curse words and throwing things emotional, but crying at a sappy Hallmark movie or music, or videos of puppies and kittens. Learn to cry with her when she hurts so bad and you realize there’s nothing you can do to help except hold her and share her pain.
Learn to cry because every one of us knows real men don’t cry, right?
See, you agreeing to the above statement means you just fell off the real man wagon.
Okay, let’s take it from the top.
Ladies, you all may want to head out to our favorite watering hole without me. I’ll try to make it at least before last call.
I’m afraid this is going to take awhile.
Thanks For Reading
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© P.G. Barnett, 2019. All Rights Reserved.