I Knew It Was Actually Grape Juice So What Was The Big Deal

When You’re Hungry And Thirsty Even An Impromptu Sacrament Will Do

I was hungry and boy was I thirsty.

Now, because I was only nine at the time, the “Church” had a rule about who could, who should, and who would be able to partake in the “blood” and “body” of Christ.

Much to my dismay, on this day, just like all the other Sundays my mom had other ideas.

My mother possessed a strange physical distortion, which, even to this day, leads me to believe she was an alien.

Even when she seemed to be intently focused on my grandfather as he stood behind the pulpit and delivered his message.

Each time I nodded off, those d*mned elbows of hers found their way into the fleshy expanse between my ribs with unerring accuracy, jolting me back into consciousness. Every time I was startled awake, I remembered just how hungry and thirsty I was.

If there has ever been torture created to drive children absolutely insane, this was probably it.

Oh yeah. And school.

Yeah, that’s another torture created to drive all children bat-s*it crazy.

The only positive thing about this day was I knew we were getting close to the end of the sermon. I saw my father sitting behind my grandfather checking his watch.

It was go time.

With the loaf of bread in one hand and starting at the far end of the alter, I began to systematically eradicate the bread between glass after glass of grape juice remnants.


To hear her and my father tell it, I had just performed a moral sacrilege, shown disrespect to God and the faith, and to all that was holy. How dare I even think of doing such as thing?

Thank You So Much For Reading

Let’s keep in touch: paul@pgbarnett.com

Written by

A published author enjoying married Texas bliss. Dog person living with cats. A writer of Henry James' stories. Featured In MuckRack. Top Writer In Fiction.

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