Metaphorically Speaking Of Course

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You folks are never gonna believe how my brain led me to this piece. So much so, I feel compelled to offer you a free of charge and very frightening preview of how I think about things. Consider yourselves forewarned. Being inside my head is not for the squeamish. Hell, a lot of times it even unnerves me.

So here we go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Yesterday, I published an article about being a ringmaster or ringmistress in your own three ring circus of life. I must admit I laid down a ton of metaphors in the article.

Hmm, Metaphors.

And as usual after I wrote, edited, edited again, and rewrote the story I envisioned all the circus adventures I had as a child and the times I took my own children to the performances.

My children always loved it when the elephants entered center ring.

Hmm, Elephants. Metaphors and elephants. Metaphors about elephants.

See, I told you it’s going to be a weird trip through my brain synopses.

We can either discuss the elephant in the room, or I just might be the elephant in the room. Maybe you’re the elephant in the room. It might just be all of us are the elephant in the room.

If that’s the case and the problem is now ginormous how are we going to deal with it? I don’t know. How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

Trust me folks. My thinking processes often get tangential when I let my thoughts wander around without adult supervision. If you’re thinking I need a straight jacket right about now thank you but there’s no need. I have three hanging in the closet which still fit from the last times I let my brain take a leisurely stroll.

But I digress.

If you remember everything that has ever happened to you in your life or always remember where you left your car keys or the television remote control (Nope not in the freezer. I just checked.) you must have the memory of an elephant. Did you receive a white elephant as a gift for your birthday last year? Have you gained so much worldly experience you have, in essence, seen the elephant?

If you think this article is about to drive you to drink I’m right there with you. In fact, there have been times I got so shit faced (much earlier times) I saw pink elephants.

Hmm, Metaphors.

Hmm, the Circus.

Metaphors and the circus. Metaphors about the circus.

Am I clowning around with this piece or am I ever going to get serious? I’m thinking not bloody likely. Am I walking the high wire without a net on this article? Probably, but when I get to this stage I know I’m going to fall on my ass anyway and I just don’t care.

As long as I can get back up, I’m good.

Are we having a discussion about the longest tent pole, or should we talk about a different one? Thinking about tents reminds me of brush arbor revivals and listening to fire breathing Evangelical preachers.

As a preacher’s kid I’d already committed most of the sins they preached about. Talk about an ass scorching. Back then I always felt bad, but only for a moment.

I do feel bad today however, about taking so long to post this. I would have done it a lot sooner, but things started off at my side hustle horribly this morning and I wasn’t provided any time to myself all day. Including lunchtime which is normally when I at least start an article.

Why today had to be one dog and pony show after the other I have no idea.

Sometimes my work drives me crazy. I can’t believe I’ve put up with this shit for so long. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten used to juggling a lot of balls in the air at one time and my side hustle expects it of me now.

At this rate, I don’t think I’ll be at my side hustle much longer. The work has changed so much since nine years ago.

People are moving through our revolving door so much nobody knows each other or what they’re capable of any more. How are we supposed to march to the beat of the company when no one can hear the drum?

I’d probably be happier as a real estate huckster or maybe a political clown juggling balls during a dog and pony show. Now there’s a thought. Maybe I should consider politics.

I could go blue and be more of a jackass than I already am or because there’s always two sides to a coin…

…I could be the elephant in the room.

P.G Barnett is the author of the Gifter’s Ring series. His works, A Balance of Evil, Return of the Brethren and The Power of the Three are available for purchase. The fourth and final book to the series, The Rise of the Coven, should publish in 2019.

Let’s keep in touch — paul@pgbarnett.com

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A published author enjoying married Texas bliss. Dog person living with cats. A writer of Henry James' stories. Featured In MuckRack. Top Writer In Fiction.

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