This morning, as I sipped my coffee and read articles on Medium, I realized there are so many opportunities for us men to be well, men.
Not the butt scratching, beer-guzzling, good old boy network kind of men, but real men.
There are a ton of articles written every day about men needing to step up to the plate, and I, for one, get it. There are a lot of douche bag men out there, continuing to heighten women’s angst.
A lot of them.
But here’s the thing.
This kind of attitude toward women starts at an early age. Abuse and insensitivity toward the opposite sex isn’t something gained at birth. It’s an acquired taste, brought about by years of programming. As children, boys are being brainwashed by their misogynistic fathers and like-minded societal club members to grow up being the apple that doesn’t fall far from the tree.
It’s all about the programming folks.
As a man, I know I should rise up against these assholes that are systematically attempting to force women into sexist cubbyholes.
I know I need to do more, need to rage against the misogynistic attitudes these powerful men — obscene miscreants who manage to slime their way to fortune and fame — perpetrate.
Harvey Weinstein, C.K. Louis, Bill Cosby? All you assholes can take a bow.
I get it, I really do. But I want, actually, I need all of you to understand something.
Let’s not cast all the stones at the general population of men just yet sisters.
There are a lot of men who, in their quiet, unassuming way, fight the good fight. We woke dudes believe women, all women are equal. We believe in equal pay for similar work, and that women have the right to choose.
We view women as partners, not servants. We know women are just as smart, just as tough and just as brave. We understand women don’t need to grow a set to make it in this world and that men need to produce a set, step back and learn to appreciate that fact.
Women fight when they’re forced to, love when they want to and are, in some cases, willing to push out a child the size of a ten-pound bowling ball. This fact alone should draw a ton of respect. As a father and grandfather, my hat’s off to women.
And yet there are still men out there who believe women are only good for the occasional self-gratifying quickie and their place should be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.
To this, I emphatically call bullsh*t.
It ain’t that way in my house, and it will never be. Not only do I love my wife, but I respect her.
In my world, she comes first. As it is with her, it needs to be with all women. They should be revered, respected, and appreciated. Women have long since earned the right to stand on equal footing with men.
And guess what? A lot of men (we all know the kind) will disagree, but the truth is whether they want to accept it or not, equality of the sexes begins at birth.
If women aren’t being perceived this way then maybe it’s because men aren’t doing enough to correct the perception.
Lately, all the articles I’ve been reading seem to indicate that the change is coming way too slow.
So, maybe I can help with that.
From my perspective, I’m at least willing for all you guys (chauvinistic pigs welcomed) out there to use me as an example. Yeah, I’m old and crotchety, opinionated and stubborn, but this old dog can teach you it’s-all-about-men pups a thing or two.
After all these years together, my wife and I still hold hands. I can’t remember the last time we wasted a perfectly good evening staring in silence at the television.
For as many years as I can count, we’ve spent each evening enjoying a glass of wine and conversation.
Yes, we actually talk to one another and share ideas.
What a radical concept right?
We don’t worry about running out of things to talk about. If we do run out, we just start over from the top. It’s kind of like watching that movie you like for the second time.
Oh, I don’t remember the bad guy doing that.
When we’re out, and even when we’re in, I still insist on opening doors for her — car doors, grocery store doors, the door of our house — and she goes first, before me, because in my opinion, that’s how it should be.
Being a different sex doesn’t mean not being equal.
My wife and I both believe in, equality of the sexes, and okay, maybe we’re demonstrating a touch of naivete, but we get downright pissed off when we hear about or see men who objectify and demean women.
I believe women should have the things they want, get all the things they deserve and should be treated at all times like they want to be treated.
It’s what a man is striving for so why shouldn’t women be provided the same opportunities?
Even though I’ve been an active member of the woke movement for a long time as a man, I probably need to do more to correct this attitude in men.
I need to challenge it the moment the ugliness rears its head. Challenge it often, and repeatedly.
And I will, I promise.
But first, I need to fix a cup of coffee for my wife. It’s a thing I do on the weekends. She gets the first freshly brewed cup from the pot, and I make sure it has one cream and two sugars before I bring it to her.
That’s how she likes it. It’s how she wants it, and along with a bazillion other reasons, it’s what she deserves.
Let’s keep in touch: email@example.com
© P.G. Barnett, 2019. All Rights Reserved.